Every morning, as I face another day, there's this persistent pressure. This pressure isn't just about the tangible tasks awaiting me but also the intangible weight of aspirations and dreams. It's a tug, a constant reminder that there's always more I need, and more that I want for myself.
It feels like a reminder of all the goals I've set but haven't reached yet, of the projects and ideas I've thought of but haven't brought to life. The list seems to grow, and with each addition, there's a growing unease.
It's as if there's a mental ledger, tallying the dreams achieved against those which have not been realized. This constant evaluation, while motivating at times, can also be a source of anguish.
With each passing day, I become more aware that I'm not where I want to be, and it feels like a missed shot at making something of my own. It's completely ridiculous to think this, but yet here it is.
Time has a way of magnifying this awareness, making the gap between reality and dreams more evident. Every sunrise and sunset feels like nature's clock, counting down opportunities and highlighting the distance still to navigate. It's a race against time, one where the finish line is my own evolving definition of fulfillment.
Every unrealized plan feels like a little piece of me fading away. It's not just about the missed opportunity but also the emotional investment in that plan.
The thoughts, the energy, the hopes tied to each idea or project feel like tiny fragments of my being drifting into a void I'm meant to recover or else. With each fading dream, there's a sense of loss, and a longing for what could have been. What is this feeling, and why does it have to be this way?
When I get up everyday, I ask myself - what's the reason behind all this? Sometimes, in the quiet moments just after waking, these questions become almost deafening that the voice inside my head telling me what I haven't yet done becomes stronger than even my own voice.
They're not just passing thoughts, it's an entity with a mind of it's own. It's as if my subconscious is desperately seeking a roadmap, a clear direction for not just the day ahead, but for the entirety of the world.
Is it the day-to-day responsibilities? These responsibilities, ranging from very small tasks to major commitments, often determine the pulse and rhythm of my life.
They create a structure, a sense of purpose, even if it's just momentarily. However, the deeper I delve, the more I realize that these responsibilities, while necessary, might not be the true drivers of my actions.
The unchecked items from the to-do list in my head that's been there for as long as I can remember. It's interesting and predictable how this mental list has evolved and grown over the years.
Don't we all feel our life is incomplete? Some items have been checked off, giving a sense of accomplishment, while others have lingered, morphed, or even multiplied into new variations I'm unable to see, I just know what they used to be changed.
How did I end up with this list? Retracing through my memories, some moments clearly contributed to its formation. Influences from family, peers, society, and even personal experiences have all played their part. However after all these influences, distinguishing between what was internally constructed versus externally created is not entirely the point of this observation. It was always me, at the end of it all wasn't it?
Life is filled with these expectations. What you should be. How you should act. What you should like and what you should not. Slowly, we we adjust our character and our internal world to reflect the types of expectations the world expects of us, so we're easier to deal with. So we'll be easier to understand as it won't take to long to figure us out.
Because people have too much life in their eyes are hard to handle and know what to do about. This life - why does it seem to not want you to be You?
From the moment we take our first breath, there's a narrative that seems pre-written for us. It's like we're handed a script, one that details the stages of life we should ideally pass through. But as much as this script might provide a sense of structure, it can also feel restrictive, like a set path we're expected to blindly follow.
There's a societal blueprint that many of us feel compelled to follow: school, job, family. From our youngest days, these expectations are woven into the conversations around us, from family gatherings to media portrayals, and the growing list of should and should nots keep expanding.
The need to follow the way of the tribe and what others want you to do, for them and for the collective - as if it's been embedded in our DNA. Parents, peers, and even pop culture reinforce this blueprint, holding it up as the gold standard of a life well-lived.
This pre-determined life path, laid out like the only road to follow, is presented as the norm, the ideal. It’s like a map handed to us, with key stops highlighted and routes clearly marked that many before us have walked.
The familiarity of the road gives many a sense of comfort, a promise of predictability in an otherwise uncertain world.
It promises stability, success, and societal acceptance. We're told that this is what happiness looks like, that these milestones are the cornerstones of a complete life.
Over time, these promises become so deeply ingrained that they start to shape our values and priorities and we believe the blueprint laid out for us is the only path. It starts to become the only path we have a chance at fulfillment.
But fulfillment is a complex emotion, Fulfillment is deeply personal, shaped by our individual values, and life experiences. There really isn't a fixed and absolute solution to fulfillment. All we can do is adhere to principles which are tested and true, but the life path we choose to apply the principles is what we are are witnessing that is changing.
Our minds often pull us in different directions. It's like a 4D maze, filled with countless paths, each leading to different destinations. At every crossroad, a decision beckons: which path to take, which voice to listen to? These decisions shape our actions, our relationships, and ultimately, our lives.
Here's the thing - maybe life isn't about a fixed endpoint. In fact in every moment we are always changing. So many of us are conditioned to chase after specific goals, thinking that reaching them will bring ultimate happiness.
What if the destination keeps shifting and evolving in parallel to our growth and understanding? What if what we want and desire is a display of our progress? It's not about the thing itself, it's about what it means to have the thing. That thing is our dreams. This is why I've always said to never let the world take away your dream.
Maybe it's about the journey, the learning, the growth, and the experience. Life, in all its unpredictability, offers countless lessons. Every challenge, every setback, contributes to our evolution, allow us to develop into the people we were meant to become.
Perhaps the point isn't to check off all the boxes but to understand why we even have those boxes in the first place. Instead of blindly following a pre-set checklist, maybe the goal is to question, to introspect, to discover.
It's about understanding our motivations, and aligning our actions with our truest selves. The self that is always changing in relationship to our own understanding.
After all - Reality is what we make of it. Each day presents an opportunity to shape, create, and redefine it. You can become a conscious designer of your reality.